I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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