Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
