Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Everclear isn't food dammit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
