you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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