well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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