just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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