maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
