I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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