Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
