Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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