Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
