There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
