eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
