Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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