i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
soo... how was my night?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
