i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
