The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
