I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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