I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
