nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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