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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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