Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
