it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
