he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
