This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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