wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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