I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
