If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
