I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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