and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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