I think i peed on brittanys purse
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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