im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
