I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
