think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
