I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
