I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
