so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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