I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
