She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
