You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
