There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
