her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
