Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
