she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
