I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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