my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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