No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
