My room smells like vodka and shame
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
