new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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