so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The Olympian is in my bed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
